Finally! I’m back with a Bachelorette recap for JoJo’s fifth week in her journey to find love.  A thief can steal my computer and prevent me from making gifs, but they can’t stop love.

While I was offline, we sadly saw the end of Chad.  I hate that I didn’t have a computer available to me to comment on Chad’s antics in the house – which culminated in him whistling in the woods after being denied the rose.  God, I’ll miss the Chad-bear, and can’t wait to see him on Paradise.

I was hoping that this season would be the one I would recap in its entirety, but alas, it was not meant to be. Maybe next season (which in my dream world would be led by the token good-guy James Taylor).

My Takeaways

1. We’re in Argentina this week, and Chris Harrison drops the bomb that there will be another 2-on-1 date this season, as well as a group date and a 1-on-1.  Inexplicably, he also tells the guys that he hopes to see them all at the rose ceremony, when that is actually impossible with a 2-on-1 this week.

Wells gets the 1-on-1 date, and for some reason reminds the guys that he is the only one who hasn’t kissed JoJo.  This gives the guys the opportunity to awkwardly bring that fact up when JoJo stops by to pick Wells up for their date, and then continue to talk about it for what seemed like a very long time. I think all of the talk of Wells not kissing JoJo put way too much pressure on the beginning of the date, which I think the editors agreed with. The montage of them walking around the streets of Argentina was accompanied by some seriously awkward music.

JoJo takes Wells to a performance art space that actually seems pretty cool.  I don’t consider myself artistically sophisticated enough to understand the running on the treadmill and getting shot piece, but I could get down with that slip-and-slide pool.  Wells decides that sliding around a pool in the dark is the right time to kiss JoJo, and finally lays one on her.  I loved that she called the kiss out, yelling, “That was the moment Wells, that was the moment! We did it!” It was cute and playful – much like their relationship.

At dinner, JoJo asks Wells about his previous relationship, and they get into a discussion about what they are looking for.  JoJo doesn’t want to believe that the passion in a relationship ever subsides, and wants to always look at her husband and think about how hot and attracted to him she is.  Wells is a bit more skeptical of the “unicorn” love that JoJo describes, leading JoJo to the realization that they may not be looking for the same thing.  Sadly, JoJo doesn’t give Wells the rose, sending him packing.

JoJo doesn’t need a man because she goes back to the performance art space, where she was clearly supposed to take Wells, had she given him the rose.  Her black co-ord paired with her leather jacket made her look like such a bad ass.  Just look at girlfriend strutting around:

2. During the group date, JoJo took Alex, James, Luke, Robby, and Jordan to wander the streets of Argentina, where they danced with street performers, and played soccer with some locals.  Honestly, this date was pretty boring.  I did get a little enthused when they had a soccer shoot-out to win a kiss from JoJo and James was the only one shown making a goal.  I have such a soft spot for that guy.

At the cocktail party, Luke and JoJo make out. And I mean MAKE OUT.

Their chemistry is cra-zy.

With his time alone with JoJo, James brings up how he thinks Jordan can feel entitled based on his background.  He tells her a story about how they were playing poker and he felt as though his opinions were disregarded by Jordan.  In his ITMs, James says that he wanted JoJo to know what kind of guy Jordan was, but I think that James was just feeling a little insecure from the date.  Although he was the only one to score a kiss from JoJo, he mentioned many times that he felt out of place with the other guys, and that he felt they were much better than him.  I think by telling JoJo this story about Jordan, he was trying to show her what he had over the other guys, and subliminally trying to compensate for his own insecurities.

When JoJo has her personal time with Jordan, she brings up her conversation with James, and Jordan knows exactly what incident she is talking about.  I found Jordan to be very defensive when explaining the situation to JoJo. In the situation he states, “No James, those actually are just the rules, those aren’t my rules”. I don’t know anything about poker, but maybe James plays by different rules when he’s with his buddies than they do at the tables. Or maybe Jordan was actually wrong.  I found it to be a turn-off that Jordan didn’t even try to acknowledge the fact that either of these could be possibilities.

Jordan confronts James about talking about him to JoJo, and James doesn’t try to deny it (in stark contrast to Leah last season). James didn’t feel like he did anything wrong in bringing up the situation with Jordan.  He wasn’t warning JoJo about Jordan or telling her that he wasn’t the right guy for her.  He was just telling her how something made him feel.  If you are supposed to treat the relationship with the Bachelorette as a regular and real relationship, shouldn’t you share your feelings with them? Even if they are negative feelings, or feelings about something other than her?

3. If the group date was boring, the 2-on-1 date was even more boring. Derek and Chase are taught a 3 person tango. Derek goes on about how much passion he feels with JoJo, while Chase seems to be putting a guard up.

At night, Derek tells JoJo he loves her. During her conversation with Chase, she tells him she noticed the wall and Chase attempts to let it down.  With JoJo asking for words of affirmation, he tells her that he came here for her – to be with her and to leave with her.  That’s all she needs to hear, because the declaration of love wasn’t enough to keep poor Derek around. She gives the rose to Chase, and sends Derek to the limo to talk about himself in the third person.

At the rose ceremony, JoJo can’t make a decision and everyone gets a rose.

Best Tweets

https://twitter.com/PrincessProbz/status/747582032566378496

Best Outfits 

1. JoJo’s scalloped red dress would be the perfect dress to take from the office to after work cocktails or a date. I’m not positive if this is the exact same fabric dress, but its the same designer and pretty darn close.  Plus, SALE!

2. It was only when I started researching this post that I realized the cut out in the front of this dress wasn’t open, but instead was black mesh.  I love the subtle sexiness of the mesh, as well as the contrasting black straps.  I can’t find the Noam Hanoch stunner in stock anywhere, but you can get the contrasting straps and cut out in this NBD dress.

3. Robby can rock a neutral suit like nobody’s business.  I think the blue-grey in his tie and pocket square really gives that “southern gentleman/beach wedding” look I assume he was going for.

What did you think about this week’s episode? Is it starting to feel like a two horse race to anyone else? How are everyone’s fantasy teams looking? Let me know!

xo
Em