I feel like a broken record, but this week’s episode seemed all about Corinne once again. It’s becoming a little frustrating, because I feel like we’re being robbed of getting to know so many other interesting women. Have we heard Whitney speak yet? Did you guys even know there was a Whitney? I’m going to try and minimize the Corinne discussion, in an effort to give the spotlight to the women who actually have a chance of winning Nick’s heart.
After our cliffhanger from last week’s episode, we start this episode with Corinne pool party drama. The end of Vanessa’s confrontation of Nick turned out to be anti-climactic, he just asked her to be patient with him when it comes to Corinne. What that says to me is, “please be patient, because she’s reality TV gold, and the producers want to keep her around a little bit.”
Sarah and Taylor confront Corinne after her post-bounce house nap, trying to explain to her why her actions are rubbing people the wrong way. Sarah gives it to her straight, telling her that she needs to pull it together, and that the other girls think she is acting entitled. Corinne denies that she is privileged, and says that she is annoyed and wants everyone to stop being so obsessed with her.
After an extended shot of Corinne rubbing her eyes like she just got up from a nap, we get to the rose ceremony. Unfortunately, Corinne gets the last rose, leaving Christen and Brittany to go home. At the post-rose ceremony toast, Corinne gives a super awkward toast, and none of the women want to hear it. Even Nick seems a little confused by her in this moment.
The next morning, Chris harrison tells the women the exciting news that they are going to…..Wisconsin? I can tell you that none of these girls have ever wanted to go to Wisconsin before, except maybe Danielle M., who is from there. (PSA: I’ve been to Milwaukee, and it’s awesome. So they should be excited.) Before we get to the dates, Nick meets his parents at a coffee shop for a Viall family cry-fest. After, he meets up with the girls and decides to take Danielle L. on the first one-on-one date.
This date is one of the “day in the life” dates, meant to show what a life with Nick would be like. They walk around the town: stopping in a bakery where they have Nick-er-doodles, sitting in a park and hearing about Nick’s adolescence, and running into an ex-girlfriend. What a coincidence! The ex tells Danielle that Nick is heart driven, and he’s just waiting to find the girl that he feels is the one in his heart. Throughout the day, Nick and Danielle seem to have a great time, as Danielle is one of those girls that giggles constantly. Personal pet peeve for me, but it probably just means that Danielle is a nice person who loves life and I have a dark and twisty soul.
At night, they go to a jazz bar, where for once they don’t seem to be the only people there. I guess Milwaukee does not bend to the whims of The Bachelor producers as easily as Los Angeles does. Danielle tells Nick about her parents’ divorce, and how that experience has made her more guarded in relationships. Nick sees a lot of the qualities he would like in a wife in her, and gives her the rose. They have another “surprise” after the date, and Nick leads her into a Chris Lane concert where they get the spotlight slow-dance treatment. Danielle is pretty lucky to get to go to all these concerts for free. Country is cool again guys, and ‘For Her’ is a jam.
The group date is set on a farm, the perfect place for Corinne and her non-entitled , nanny having self. She wastes no time telling the camera that she would rather be at a spa eating a taco than to be here. The girls are going to be helping around the farm on the date, feeding and cleaning up after the cows. Obviously, Corinne doesn’t know how to do chores, she has a nanny to do that for her. So once again, she is going to remove herself from something she doesn’t know how to do, (this time citing the excuse that her hands were too cold).
I loved Jaimi’s attitude during this date, who went right in when they were milking the cows. The girls on this show have so many amazing opportunities, and to not take full advantage of all of them is a waste.
At night, Corinne goes on a sarcastic rant about how she respects everyone for shoveling the “poopy” (I really can’t even get over her saying that, or that I had to type that). It makes me so mad how she seems so disrespectful to the people who do that everyday and work hard in order to put food on their families tables. Plus, where does Corinne think the cheese from her beloved cheese pasta comes from? I’m so over her.
We finally get to hear from a few other girls. First, Kristina tells Nick that she hasn’t had an easy childhood, and wants to tell Nick more of her story. Vanessa gives Nick a book that her coworkers and students put together for him, sharing all of the great things about her. Then….back to Corinne. She addresses the women telling them that she wants the women to address her directly if they have an issue because she hasn’t been feeling very welcome. Sarah asks her if she thinks she is ready to marry a 36-year old man, citing her continuing to fall asleep at rose ceremonies as a sign of not being mature. Corinne only hears the fact that she is talking about the naps again, and goes off on a rant about Abraham Lincoln taking naps. I keep trying to not address her, but she is so absurd, seemingly drunk 95% of the time, and so unprepared for a husband that it is mind blowing to me. I understand that she is just acting her age, but someone who loved her should have told her that it would not be a good look going on this show.
Jaime says what everyone is thinking.
There is more confrontation. Kristina gets the group date rose. I’m done with this date.
The one-on-one date with Raven proves to be a breath of fresh air. She is so positive and lovely, and I’m jumping on the Raven-train. They go to Nick’s sister Bella’s soccer game, and meet Nick’s parents. Nick’s dad has a super awkward interaction regarding her name, mentioning that it was “unusual”, and secretly hoping it was a family name. Raven follows up the awkwardness, asking if Nick had to be spanked a lot.
Bella invites Raven and Nick to Skateland, leading to the second part of the date. Raven has some cute one-on-one time with Bella, while Nick shows off his skating moves on the rink. The Viall clan is proven to have excellent parenting skills, when Bella confirms that she was not allowed to watch Bachelor in Paradise. They cap off the skate date by a couple’s skate to Sixpence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me.”
During dinner, Raven gets real about her past relationships, and quickly becomes one of my favorite people ever. Apparently, Raven found out from one of her ex’s coworkers that he was at a bar with another woman, and sped to his house. She jiggled the handle of the bedroom, which was locked and therefore needed to be kicked open. She caught them in the act, or as she says “thrusting her”. In that moment, Raven picks up her stiletto and beats him in the head with it. I’m not a proponent of domestic violence, but scum bags get what is coming to them. Raven gets the rose, because she is a(n) (awesome) bad ass.
We get to the rose ceremony and Corinne is still having an issue with Taylor, or if you ask Corinne – Taylor has the issue with her. Danielle steals Nick first, annoying Taylor, who lurks creepily nearby until Danielle finishes her conversation. Corinne and Josephine have a sh*t-talking session about Taylor, while they eat some pigs in a blanket and Josephine is clearly #TeamCorinne. Corinne confronts Taylor about how she has hurt her feelings, while Taylor tries to explain that she doesn’t think that Corinne has the emotional intelligence to deal with this process. Corinne tells Taylor that she is treating her like an idiot, and that Taylor thinks she is above each other. Taylor tries to explain that she just thinks that they are different. Corinne brings up once again that she runs (works for) a multi-million dollar company, but Taylor sticks by her idea that she is not ready for this process. And Corinne ‘literally can’t even’.
So I tried a fun exercise where I deleted everything I wrote about Corinne. Pre-deletion we were at 1400 words. Post deletion, 880. So, I apologize for the 520 words you were subject to about Corinne. Lord help us!
Trent (@BarstoolTrent) January 24, 2017
"So, Raven. That's an unusual name." -Nick's dad, trying to determine whether Nick has just brought a stripper home. #TheBachelor—
Dana Weiss (@Possessionista) January 24, 2017
"I'm going to go rip her a new one" but first let me get another chicken nugget. #thebachelor—
Benjamin Higgins (@benhiggi) January 24, 2017
I loved Danielle’s casual look for the date on the dairy farm, and she was one of the only women who was dressed for the date. Similar sweaters to Danielle’s can be found here and here, and here and here are some similar jackets.
What did you guys think about this episode? Are you like Alexis and scared of Nicholas Cage, or do you have an even more bizarre fear? Let me know!